Forming Strong Relationships: Interpersonal Skills Every Architect Needs

The first time I realized I needed to sharpen my interpersonal skills was at a networking event. I met a woman who left an unforgettable impression. We’d crossed paths a year earlier, and after that brief encounter, she’d followed up with helpful contacts I’d asked about. Fast forward a year—my memory of her had faded, but when we met again, she greeted me like a lifelong friend. She remembered details I’d shared, asked thoughtful questions, and made a beeline to chat with me. Meanwhile, I barely recalled her name. Feeling a mix of guilt and awe, I watched her work the room. She spoke to everyone by name, listened with genuine curiosity, and radiated sincerity. People were drawn to her—not because she was loud or flashy, but because she cared. That moment lit a fire in me: I wanted to connect with people that way too.

At Architecture Social, we know architects don’t just design buildings—they build relationships. Whether you’re pitching to clients, collaborating with colleagues, or networking for your next big break, interpersonal skills are your foundation for success. Inspired by that encounter and timeless advice from Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, here’s how you can strengthen your connections and elevate your career.

Why Interpersonal Skills Matter for Architects

Your drafting skills might get you in the door, but your ability to communicate and connect keeps you there—and moves you up. Good interpersonal skills can:

• Secure Clients: A warm, genuine chat can turn a pitch into a project.
• Boost Teamwork: Engaged colleagues create better designs together.
• Resolve Conflicts: Navigate creative clashes without burning bridges.
• Expand Your Network: Open doors to mentors, collaborators, and opportunities.

Plus, there’s a bonus: a 2017 Harvard Business Review article found that strong workplace relationships reduce burnout and loneliness. In a high-pressure field like architecture, that’s a game-changer.

12 Practical Tips to Build Better Relationships

Here’s how to level up your interpersonal game, tailored for architects and easy to start today.

1. Spend 5-10 Minutes Daily with Someone New
   Chat with a colleague you don’t know well—ask about their latest project or a design challenge. A smile and curiosity go a long way.
   Why it works: It builds rapport and makes your studio feel less like a silo.
2. Treat Everyone Equally
   From junior designers to firm owners, every voice matters. Ask the intern about their ideas or the receptionist about the office vibe.
   Why it works: You’ll gain fresh perspectives and create an inclusive vibe.
3. Listen 75%, Speak 25%
   Let others talk about their passions—like that tricky section detail—while you soak it in. Carnegie nailed it: “You make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get them interested in you.”
   Why it works: People will see you as approachable and engaged.
4. Remember Names (But Don’t Overuse Them)
   Greeting someone by name breaks the ice—just keep it natural.
   Why it works: It shows respect and makes people feel valued.
5. Honor Your Word
   If you promise to review a colleague’s plans by Tuesday, deliver. If you can’t, say so upfront.
   Why it works: Trust is the bedrock of any team.
6. Skip the Email, Talk Instead
   Walk over or call for quick chats. Emails lack the warmth of a voice or a smile.
   Why it works: You’ll solve problems faster and build stronger bonds.
7. Observe and Learn
   Watch how others interact. Who do you enjoy working with? Why? Steal their best tricks.
   Why it works: You’ll refine your style and boost your likability.
8. Be Positive and Helpful
   Offer a solution to a teammate’s zoning issue or just listen when they vent.
   Why it works: You’ll become the go-to person everyone trusts.
9. Dodge Arguments, Seek Common Ground
   When debating materials, hear them out fully, then suggest your idea as an option—not the “right” answer.
   Why it works: It keeps egos in check and collaboration alive.
10. Replace Criticism with Encouragement
    Instead of “That layout’s off,” say, “This concept’s strong—and tweaking this area could make it even better.”
    Why it works: You’ll inspire progress without ruffling feathers.
11. Show Sincere Appreciation
    Thank your renderer for their precision or praise a peer’s bold idea. Be specific and mean it.
    Why it works: Recognition fuels motivation and loyalty.
12. Admit Mistakes Fast
    Misjudged a deadline? Own it, apologize, and pivot to solutions.
    Why it works: Humility builds trust and defuses tension.

The Core: Emotional Intelligence

These tips hinge on emotional intelligence—tuning into your own feelings, reading others’ moods, and responding thoughtfully. It’s what separates a skilled architect from a great leader. Want to dig deeper? Check out our Resources for guides on emotional intelligence and communication.

How This Fuels Your Career

Honing your interpersonal skills doesn’t mean faking a new personality—it’s about amplifying your strengths. You’ll:

• Navigate studio dynamics with confidence.
• Turn one-off clients into repeat partners.
• Lead teams that respect and rally behind you.
• Feel happier and less stressed at work.

Whether you’re eyeing a promotion or a standout project, these skills give you an edge.

Get Started with Architecture Social

Ready to build stronger relationships? We’ve got your back:

• Join the Community: Swap stories and tips at Community.
• Explore Resources: Dive into leadership and networking advice at Resources.
• Find Your Next Gig: Check out Jobs that reward your people skills.

Pick one tip and try it this week—maybe strike up a chat with that quiet teammate. Interpersonal skills grow with practice, and the payoff is worth it. You’ve got this!